What Were They Thinking? December 2021 Edition

Can’t upset the shareholders…

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“That’s all I can stand, I can’t stands no more!” That Popeye quite hit me in the face like a tin of spinach this week when I read the cherry on top of a stupid cake in the news. This is the first in a hopefully infrequent series that ponders: what on earth were they thinking?

The Battlefield Multiverse

What does everyone want from a Battlefield game? More players? More destruction? Yep ok. What about taking that lineage off memorable heroes (lol) and creating a battle Royale hero shooter.

What?

Somehow this is a thing. Not content with muddying the waters over what the core battlefield experience is (by offering ‘just more’ of the existing one, a total twist with a game-within-a-game and, err, the exact same Battlefield all in one release), they’re doubling down on how invested people are (which they aren’t) in the Battlefield universe. I’m sure it will be a massive success.

Halo Infinite (lack of) Progression

You know how you win games and get more rewards for doing so? Not in Halo Infinite. You could win 1,000 games and get the exact same experience points (Halo Infinite’s measure of progression) as someone who loses 1,000 (or worse, just sits there scary at the screen, as Halo Infinite now wrestles with an army of AFKers). 

Challenges such as ‘Win a Slayer Game’ would be easier if it had a Slayer (read: deathmatch) playlist like every other Halo ever (there have been four offering online PvP multiplayer). And timed events that literally gate your progression, meaning you have to make sure you log in on certain weeks to do the aforementioned challenges, all wrapped up in a strong nomination for ‘What were they thinking.’

Maybe they’ll just add some new playlists. Nope. “It’s not that simple.” But, I can literally create the EXACT MODES in a custom lobby using the tools you have. The kicker, it seems, is that this most basic of things are tied to their microtransaction enticing progression model. Can’t upset the shareholders. 

A Halo Infinite player, well on their way to some meaningless progression…

 

Ubisoft Issues Bans for Questions

You know how, if there’s a problem with a game, you can go to a support forum, or knowledge base, or even contact the devs on a Reddit or something and let them know? Well, Splinter Cell: Blacklist has a great multiplayer and was released eight years ago now. Being the last proper Splinter Cell game, folks are still playing it. Well, trying to.

The servers are broken. Ubisoft is aware, and fans are keeping asking them to fix it. What do you do when you have a dedicated fan base that is asking for your help to let them play your game? You ban them.

Yep, Ubisoft, not content with the myriad issues inside the company, decided to let players know that if you open a support ticket asking them to fix the game, will be banned from their Ubisoft account. Use a workaround to be able to play the game, like roll it back to an earlier version? Also banned. 

Talk about a loyalty bonus.

SPECIAL MENTIONS!

Ubisoft again. This time, they have created ‘Ubisoft Quartz’, a special thing that lets people do stuff with NFTs. Urgh! Not only sounding like the mid-range gear from an H.Samuel, but Ubisoft Quartz will also lay the foundations for all sorts of NFT shenanigans such as NFT outfits available in smash hit (yep) Ghost Recon Breakpoint. 

And Halo Infinite again! You know how, when you do a cool level in a game, you might go back to it to play it again, maybe mop up the collectables you missed, or play it on a harder difficulty? You know, like every other Halo has let you. Well, in Halo Infinite you can’t. They’re ‘working on it.’ Oh my. 

 
 

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